I am currently reading the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. I have only read about the first habit but wanted to share what I have learned so far.
One of the biggest take-aways from this chapter is about responsibility. The hardest and most freeing of all the teachings I have learned is that we are responsible for creating our own happiness.
When I first heard about this years ago, I didn't believe it to be true. How can I be responsible for the things that happen to me? I didn't choose this? I had a real victim mentality at the time. But as my understanding of this concept grew, I started to realise that taking responsibility is the first step to creating change. It was hard to accept that I could no longer blame external circumstances for how I was feeling. On the other hand, it was a freeing experience. I felt I had the power from within to create a different reality. This didn't mean that the outside circumstances all changed at once, it was that I decided to react differently to them.
The way I understand Stephen R. Covey describing this concept is seeing the word responsibility as: 'Response-ability'. When there is a stimulus, there is a response. In the moment between the stimuli and the response, there is freedom to choose. We are able to choose how we respond. Instead of being reactive, you become proactive.
The reality is that there are things that we can and can't control. If you focus on the things that you can't control such as the weather, you'll likely experience negative energy. Those who focus on the things that they can control will experience positive energy. Stephen R. Covey calls this the 'Circle of Concern' and 'Circle of Influence'. When you focus on the circle of influence it will become bigger and your circle of concern becomes smaller. And thus, you'll feel happier.
Focussing on the things that are within my control makes me feel empowered. I can take action on that. I now try and acknowledge what is happening, face the facts and see how I can positively influence the situation. I am also better at letting go of the things that are out of my control. At times, that has been a massive weight of my shoulders.
Maybe ask yourself if you're taking responsibility for your life? And are you focussing on the things that you can influence?
Love, Morrin x
Bio: Morrin O’Shea has an interest in the connection between body, mind and spirit. She has a background in occupational therapy and is an integrative nutrition health & mindset coach. Her aim is to empower woman by embracing their true selves and consciously creating the life they want. She is also the founder of Wholism.
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